wheel of consent resources

The Wheel of Consent ®

Understanding consent with the Wheel

The key concept of the Wheel Of Consent is radical: not simply that consent is a good idea, but offering a practical way to distinguish between who is doing and who it is for, in order to be able to create safe agreements for truly consenting exchanges – from the boardroom to the bedroom.

The process is never about pushing through and trying to like something you don’t like; it’s about learning to trust yourself and be true to yourself. All of this creates ease, clarity, and confidence.

Who is it for?

The Wheel Of Consent allows you to understand the crucial part of any exchange: who it is for. It allows you to answer this key question:

  • Are you acting on your desire?
  • Or are you putting your desire aside?

In every exchange one person will be giving, one person will be receiving. One person will also be doing, and one person will be done-to. But, contrary to what we’re used to thinking, the fact that you are doing something, does not necessarily mean you are giving.

Creating agreements    

The key to learning how to have fulfilling, consenting exchanges is learning how to set and keep consensual agreements. This means that everyone remains fully in choice at all times, and still gets what they need.

Consensual agreements can come in many forms – they can set multiple parameters such as timescales, boundaries, limits, and specific instructions; or they can be as simple as saying ‘I would like you to pleasure me”. In all cases understanding your own needs, and acting on them, are the essential first steps to being able to make effective agreements.

Why is the Wheel Of Consent life-changing?

Connect with me to find out how the Wheel Of Consent can help you.

The quadrants

Each quadrant in the Wheel Of Consent creates a different experience and teaches you something different about yourself. Learn more about each one:

Serving
Taking
Allowing
Accepting

Enjoyed reading this?

If you've found this page helpful you can get more tips and resources for better relating straight to your inbox. Sign up here and get my free How To Be Heard guide to start you off:

Explore more:

wheel of consent ask what you want

Needy, or necessary? Why is it so hard to ask for what you want?

If you find it hard to ask for what you want you’re not alone! Find out why this is, and a simple way you can make a change

Read More
burnout overgiving wheel of consent

4 practical ways you can avoid burnout or overgiving at work

Burnout and overgiving are some of the most common problems at work. Here’s how you can take steps to change that

Read More
follow your impulses wheel of consent

Think you’re impulsive? Here’s a 5-day challenge for you

Is being impulsive a bad thing? Learn why it’s good to follow your impulses with this simple, powerful – and fun – step by step guide.

Read More

Events & courses

Wheel Of Consent Workshop – 6-Week Online Series

June 5 – July 10 2022 with Robyn Dalzen. Learn embodied consent skills to ask for what you want, set clear boundaries, and be empowered

Read More